I love to travel. How many of you say that? Do you really love to travel or do you love getting to the destination? Lines, security checks, annoying people traveling with talking parrots, gross food, flight delays…. these are the logistics of travel. The down and dirty. In this day and age of taking off your shoes, your belt, your underwire bra it is easy to see why everyone is a wee bit on edge in the airport. They say it’s not about the destination but about the journey. That may be true but some days I would give anything to hear the words: “Beam Me Up Scotty”. But until then we will just have to endure. Here is my list of the things that make traveling more annoying than it has to be. And to be fair and just, I have also included those sweet, unexpected things that restore my faith in the traveling circus that our society has become.
1) The Close Watcher: if your knees are touching the carousel as you wait for your luggage, please take two GIANT steps back. That way all of the passengers who are waiting at the same luggage carousel can also take part in this delightful vigil rather than having to leap periodically to see over everyone’s heads and then proceed through the crowd by making machete chops with their hands as they dive on to their suitcases before they pass by. If you refuse to stay back until your luggage comes and you do not step aside when I attempt to retrieve my luggage, please know that I will clock you with my insanely heavy suitcase as I haul it off the belt. (I refuse to pack light for this very reason)
2) The Lamenter: Yes, the lines are long. Yes, the security seems excessive at times. Yes, flights are expensive. Yes, the airlines are nickeling and diming us. I believe that you knew all of this before making the choice to move forward with your plans. In the words of the all powerful Elsa: Let it Go. It doesn’t help our plight at this very moment.
3) The Procrastinator: You have just waited in line for about 32 minutes and have heard the announcements about what goes where approximately 68 times. Is it possible that you cannot begin the process (or at least consider the process) until you are at the bins? Yes, I am impatient when it comes to this. Unless you have been pre-screened and are in a separate line, you will not suddenly be surprised as the 700th passenger of the day and be told that ALL of the security rules do not apply to you. TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES, TAKE OFF YOUR BELT, PUT YOUR CHANGE IN THE BIN, TAKE OUT YOUR LAPTOP. It’s the same. Every. Single. Time. (except in Italy – shoes stay on. The no shoe thing just freaks them out. Another reason to love Italy).
4) The Prude: So you don’t want to go through the machine because they are going to see you naked? Girlfriend, puh-leez! You’ve never looked skinnier! This is what they see:
1) Romantic Reunions. I can’t help it. I stare. I swoon. I am jealous.
2) Pinkberry. We don’t have one near home so when there is one in the airport, I am very happy.
3) Soaring high over a city and being able to identify landmarks. My latest: the Roberto Clemente Bridge in Pittsburgh
4) People Watching. There is no better place than the airport. The good, the bad, the ugly. It is pure entertainment.
Travel has become a part of our lives so we are forced to endure the trials and tribulations that are a necessary evil. But believe me it’s worth it. After all without travel we would not be here together.
I would love to hear about the highs and lows of travel for you. Leave your list in the comments below.